Women That Make History

I’m driving home — from a visit to go see my mother a province away. The 11 hour drive is shared by the company of my siblings (as we’ve all made the trip to celebrate my Mom’s 65th birthday). The car is alive and packed with our eclectic personalities, my brother’s german shepherd, and a selection of music and podcasts we’ve each taken the liberty to prepare for the drive. There’s debate as to what to listen to and I’m always surprised by our choices.

The trip back starts by listening to an interview between two men and as I drive by picturesque landscapes the thing that stands out to me is the amount that each man celebrates the names of other men he respects. I like hearing them celebrate the accomplishments of people they respect and how they emphasize their appreciation for people and colleagues.  There is the odd female name peppered in here and there and I like hearing them speak highly of my fellow women. I realize — I’m asking myself, “why don’t I hear more women’s names?” And then I have the realization perhaps I’m not listening to enough women speakers. Less women being mentioned than men doesn’t come as a surprise to me — each man appreciated both men and women but from my own standpoint and judge of character — I am a much better judge of a fellow female as opposed to a male. I can judge how a women holds herself because on some level there is an understanding I have of her, being a woman myself. At the same time, my perception of a man is from that of a woman. I can judge how he treats women, how I see him being of value and respect in the world but I tell myself it may be hard to understand things that I may honestly never understand. How testosterone affects his thought processes just as estrogen and progesterone affects mine and how beautifully different our minds work from one another— how I see women in motherhood attentive and having the ability to multitask and the beauty of a man solid focused and of service to his family. In a day and age where gender is seeming to blend, I find beauty in that perspective too — a blend being beautiful and holding its own perspective. Just like I do not understand their biological viewpoint of the world I do no understand the perspective of a biological male — and regardless we are all human. 

The reason I share all this — is I see men historically having been in positions where they accoladed one another — and I truly believe this is not malicious. I also know that the women of our histories celebrated the women that stood at their sides, that were skilled, and capable, gifted, intelligent and kind. We know historically women were not the one’s whom wrote and so while all of this existed and is known to and have played a part in shaping us and the people we have become — it’s not shared in a global history in the same way as the stories of men — who have passed on their appreciation for the men that they respected. 

It feels appropriate now, that in this time where woman and oral traditions can be shared in writing— we celebrate and honour one another. Not to make it “even” but to bring to light the beauty that genuinely adds so many gifts to this world. I know I love hearing when a man celebrates another man just as I know there are men that will love to hear and celebrate the accomplishments of the women of their society. If we want to see a world that acknowledges women and their roles we need to talk about them. What follows are women that I believe should be celebrated and that have done amazing things. And so in honour of all the amazing women and their stories here are some women that I admire both historically and present — some I know and other’s I respect for the beautiful influence they have shared on their communities.

It feels appropriate now, that in this time where woman and oral traditions can be shared in writing— we celebrate and honour one another.

Julia Cameron

Julia Cameron is an author that inspires the importance of creativity and nurturing the inner artist in us all— she made me fall in love with the artisty of life after reading her book The Artist's Way. She has empowered countless individuals to reconnect with their creativity and find a sense of artistic expression. Cameron’s work emphasizes the importance of nurturing one’s inner artist, helping people break through creative blocks and develop habits of self-reflection and growth. Her influence has spanned decades, contributing to a broader movement that values self-expression and the therapeutic power of art. Through her guidance, many have discovered their creative potential and built lives filled with art and inspiration.

Sara Bourdon

Sarah embodies the importance of everyday community building and the contributions that many women make within their families and local spaces. I met Sarah meandering the local farmer’s market with her famiy one weekend - and it was so fitting as she is a woman that stands for family, local food, and community. Values — that are SO important in todays world but also are historically the foundations of strength that have brought us here. One thing that stands out about her — is her dedication to food. She tends a garden and one thing she’s emphasized to her children is that growing a garden is one of the most important things they will do as a family. I interpreted that, as the time that they spend tending together, learning, appreciating, and providing for themselves are opportunities to take these skillsets beyond childhood. Sarah advocates for sovereignty. The conversations I’ve shared with her where she advocates for women’s rights and a for women to have healthy relationships with their bodies is remarkable. Her role in nurturing fellow female connections, offering support, and sharing garden wisdom reflects the quiet yet indispensable work of women who create the emotional backbone of their communities. Women like Sarah help foster a sense of belonging and trust that enables people to thrive. Her commitment to maintaining community relationships, with both kindness and care, represents the value of the informal, yet vital roles women play in supporting the structures that hold society together.

Rupi Kaur

Rupi Kaur is a contemporary poet, artist, and author whose work has resonated deeply with millions of readers around the world. Her poetry, often written in simple, accessible language, explores themes of love, loss, healing, and empowerment, giving voice to the experiences of women, particularly in the realms of self-discovery and emotional growth. What I love about Rupi, is she speaks honestly on topics potentially considered taboo — in an effort to speak for those that don’t always have the opportunity for their voice to be heard she brings to light things often felt but not necessarily spoken about. Through her best-selling poetry, Kaur has revolutionized the way poetry is perceived, making it accessible to a broader, younger audience and bridging the gap between modern social media and traditional literary art. Her candid and raw exploration of topics such as trauma, identity, and self-empowerment have empowered countless individuals, especially women, to embrace vulnerability and strength. Kaur's combination of poetry and visual art—frequently accompanied by her simple yet powerful illustrations—has created a unique space where people can find a sense of belonging in her words.

Cheryl of Buttercup’s Backyard Gardens (Gainford, Alberta)

Cheryl became a strong ally of my sister and I during our time of running a market garden. Cheryl was our neighbour and collaborator — her local greenhouse brought to life cucumber starts in our first year of community veggie boxes. She was a woman willing to roll up her sleeves countless times and ask how she could be of service to the members of her community. Cheryl is a woman who has impacted her community with compassion, wisdom, and a dedication to the art of tending (…to her family, to plants, to beauty, to her business). Cheryl’s approach to business demonstrates her dedication to fostering meaningful relationships, giving back to her community and caring for a family. Women like Cheryl demonstrate the power of personal connections, often quietly shaping the environments they inhabit through generosity, intellect, and leadership. Their impact is felt in the lives of those around them, making communities stronger and more interconnected.

Josephine Butler

Josephine Butler was a pioneering social reformer and advocate for women’s rights in the 19th century. She is perhaps best known for her work in campaigning against the Victorian "Contagious Diseases Acts," which allowed the police to detain and examine women suspected of being sex workers. Her tireless work helped bring about the repeal of these laws, which were seen as unjustly punitive toward women. Butler's advocacy for women’s dignity and rights extended beyond this issue, as she worked for women’s education, better working conditions, and social reform. Her contributions were instrumental in advancing gender equality in Britain.

My Mother & Sister

My Mother, Jane Lightbody Thomas is a woman that when I was a pre-teen decided to go back to school and start her own business — I witnessed from her countless times a belief that there’s the possibility of a win-win solution. I saw my mother embody this in the business she founded. She was continually in conversations with stakeholders looking for win-win solutions. She was human — and of course I imagine there was conflict in finding out what that solution may be. I imagine it wasn’t always perfect, but her dedication to win-win solutions is something that I respected and is one of the many things I learnt from her — and I try to carry on in her example. My mother also loved nature— and shared that with her children. Her willingness to look at the world and search for creative solutions is something I truly admire.

My sister and (was) business partner, Sally Thomas and the love she embodies in her sincerity and love for nature, relationships and willingness to grow. She inspires me each day with her dedication to a career that she originally started because of her love of nature and has continued to refine as an environmental consultant. I see her dedication to continual learning and the development of healthy friendships, her own personal growth, and a love of the natural world. One thing that stands out for me about Sally is her ability to articulate reason and tell relatable stories. Many of the stories of our business were shared by her ability to bring the humour, trials, joys, and hardships into the conversations she shared with community. What a vital thing — to be able to share your story!

For this and so many other reasons I am ever grateful to the women of my immediate family. Family members of us all, represent the nurturing and foundational roles that women often play in shaping the character of their children and families. Their contributions, although not always recognized in public spheres, are foundational to the social and moral upbringing of individuals, thus shaping society in profound ways.

Joni Mitchell

Joni Mitchell is a legendary Canadian singer-songwriter whose work has had a profound impact on music, art, and culture. With innovative tuning style, Mitchell brought to mainstream new ways of playing the guitar and broke down boundaries in music, influencing artists across generations. Her songs highlighted environmental and social issues long before they became mainstream concerns. Mitchell’s contributions go beyond her music; she revolutionized the way people thought about music as an art form. The most beautiful image I’ve seen of her — is her rocking on stage in beautiful costume jewelry and bold sunglasses— taking up space on stage as an elder woman — it felt so important as a younger woman to see her taking up space. It was such an honour to see her on stage in her eldership — and it was such a DELIGHT to witness how her performance made that more accessible and acceptable for the people that come after her.

Coco Chanel

Coco Chanel revolutionized the fashion industry by liberating women from the restrictive clothing of the early 20th century and introducing a more comfortable, yet sophisticated style. Chanel's impact extends beyond her fashion innovations; she redefined what it meant to be a woman in the public eye, demonstrating that beauty, comfort, and power could coexist. Her life and career are a testament to the transformative power of creativity and vision. Some of my favorite quotes of hers: “My life couldn’t please me. So I created my life” and “Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it’s not luxury”.

Ruth Alexandra Sorochan

Ruth is a community networker. I met Ruth for the first time as she rode her bicycle through the Edmonton McCauley orchard. She stoped to introduce herself and what stood out was the feather she wore in her hat. I remember thinking — now this is a woman happy to be herself — and since then the honour of knowing this woman has grown. She introduced me countless times to people in the community and was the woman weaving connections of support for her fellow community members. During one group interaction — I witnessed in awe as she expressed a deep sadness when not all members of the group were heard. She was so genuinely authentic and vulnerable in that moment. I remember thinking to myself — thank goodness she’s strong enough to share her authenticity even though it’s not what would normally be accepted. I remember thinking—”wow, beautiful”. Since then, I have known Ruth to advocate and co-organize a Garden school — that provided outside play for young children. She encouraged a program that brought together children and caregivers and place — encouraging a sense of relationship to local environment. I’ve seen her homeschool her daughter and continually volunteer herself in community building. Her capacity continues to amaze me. Ruth symbolizes women who have powerfully impacted their communities contributing in ways that are are deeply valued. Her story represents the immense contributions that women make to society through acts of service, wisdom, authenticity, and resilience, impacting the lives of those around them in deeply meaningful ways.

Laura Bassi

Laura Bassi was an extraordinary 18th-century Italian physicist and one of the first women to earn a professorship at a university in Europe. She was one of the best-paid employees at the University of Bologna during her time. This was a reflection of both her academic achievements and the university’s recognition of her capabilities. She was able to conduct public lectures, teach students, and make important scientific contributions, all while being compensated well for her groundbreaking work. Her success in both academia and compensation demonstrated the high regard in which she was held, both as a scientist and as a professor. She became the first woman in Europe to hold a university chair in a scientific field. Bassi’s work, particularly in experimental physics, helped establish her as a prominent figure in the scientific community. She made significant contributions to the study of hydraulics, physics, and Newtonian mechanics and was a passionate advocate for scientific inquiry. Bassi's position was unique, and she earned a salary equal to that of her male colleagues, which was a huge honour for a woman at the time.

Rachel Brathen

Rachel Brathen also known as "Yoga Girl," is a globally recognized yoga teacher, author, and wellness advocate. What I love about Rachel is that she uses her platforms and presence to inspire people and she shares beautiful encouraging messaging towards mindfulness, self-love, and personal growth. Through her online platforms and best-selling books, she has shared her authentic journey of healing, both physically and emotionally, and encourages others to cultivate practices that nurture their mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Rachel's work extends beyond yoga; she is also an advocate for mental health awareness, environmental causes, and sustainable living. Her holistic approach to wellness and her commitment to spreading positivity have made her a leading figure in the modern wellness movement, empowering others to live with intention, compassion, and mindfulness. I see her as an example, that women can be of service AND can also be authentic.

Francine Petit of Samadhi Thai (Based in Nelson, BC)

Francine Petit was the woman who introduced me to practicing Thai massage and whom embodies the philosophies she teaches. She promotes physical and emotional well-being through the healing practices of traditional Thai massage. Her work has been a dedication to traditional practises and she’s been brave enough to live an untraditional life — as a Westerner traveling to Thailand to receive an in-depth understanding of her art. Her work extends beyond just massage, as she also teaches others interested in the concept and experience of what Thai medicine offers. What’s unique about Francine, is that she has been brave enough to build a business around a skill she genuinely believes in, has studies thoroughly, and cares enough to share her knowledge of with those interested. She is strong — and has balanced her business with her own genuine dedication to nature. She is someone who has created a business and lifestyle that prioritizes both her love of Thai massage and her love of nature. Through her dedication to the art of Thai massage, Francine Petit has made a meaningful impact in her community, helping others achieve a sense of harmony and well-being.

Colleen Thomas Calhoun

Colleen Thomas Calhoun is a financial advisor based in Edmonton, Alberta, who has successfully navigated the challenges of working in a profession with few women. Despite some of the barriers women can face in the financial industry, she dismissed stereotypes and persevered to become a senior advisor who genuinely cares about sharing financial knowledge and skills to help her clients build financial wealth and provide them with spending power. Colleen's success is a testament to her determination. Beyond her financial acumen, she is an advocate for women and actively gives back to other women in generous ways that empower them with financial opportunities. Her journey serves as an inspiring example of how persistence, skill, and confidence can help break down barriers and change the narrative.

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift’s ability to craft deeply personal and relatable music has resonated with millions around the world. To collaborate creatively — and create different genres of music time and time again is in and of itself a huge accomplishment. Beyond her art form — she’s revolutionized the concept of success by how she has demonstrated her generosity. Her financial success has been monumental and she demonstrates what is possible. Most notably, she gives back to her communities in spearheading ways. Where most billion dollar businesses have been known to give less than 1% of their profit to charitable or social initiatives — she has been measured to give closer to 10%. She also made waves by taking control of her music career, reclaiming ownership of her master recordings, and advocating for artists' rights. Taylor Swift's blend of creativity, business acumen, and social activism serves as an inspiration.

Germaine Tailleferre

Germaine Tailleferre was a pioneering French composer and member of the prestigious group of composers known as "Les Six," which sought to break away from the constraints of romanticism and embrace more modern, innovative styles of music in the early 20th century. Her work spans a wide range of genres, including orchestral, chamber, choral, and operatic compositions. Tailleferre’s music, known for its elegance, wit, and distinctive French character, helped shape the sound of French classical music during her time. Despite facing the expectations of being a woman at that time, she established herself as a skilled and respected composer whose works continue to be celebrated for their originality and beauty. Tailleferre's legacy not only includes her remarkable compositions but also her role in breaking down barriers, proving that a woman's voice in music could be both innovative and influential.

Each of these women have contributed to society in unique and valuable ways, proving that women's impact on the world is both vast and essential in shaping history and culture.I hope this inspires you to share stories of your own about the people in your life that you respect admire and want the world to know about so that the world can benefit from their character and contributions too. 

And lastly, I ask that you please all remember we come from a long line of strong and influential women. It was women who birthed us all into existence. I’m reminded that each of them needed to step into areas of growth, newness, and service and makes me think “There can be all the support in the world but if one does not have the trust in themselves they cannot fall back into grace”.

“There can be all the support in the world but if one does not have the trust in themselves they cannot fall back into grace”.

Self Defined Healthy Relationships

You know that soul throbbing pain of feeling dejected, carelessly not considered, and alone? I’m here to remind you that often the biggest hurts and challenges in our lives come with them the biggest opportunity to be there for others in ways that other’s were unable to be there for us. 

Sometimes people hurt us in ways that they themselves had normalized for them BUT regardless of someone else’s actions we each have the self authority on how we react. No one else’s behaviours are the reason we do anything and if we continue to use blame as a reason to perpetuate hurt onto others, we cycle into a behaviour of treating those we care for in ways that undermine our relationships. Our actions demonstrate to others the ways we would like to be treated. Ultimately, we have no effect on how other people choose to treat us. We do have a choice in our own actions and the proximity to which we allow other people in our lives. Our actions influence others by providing the demonstrations of what care and kindness look like.

This is why WHO we choose to be close to is so vital. They mirror to us daily what it means to care for someone. When we surround ourselves with people who prioritize their time to reflect on their relationships and be considerate of their loved ones it brings with it a sense of connection. You are allowed to be selective of those in your close circle. 

Community and relationships are vital — and to be able to converse and communicate with people from all backgrounds enriches anyone who opens themselves up that way BUT your ability to talk with people with different values does not mean you need to disregard discernment on who genuinely deserves your priority. If we treated everyone as we do our lover. We wouldn’t have a love.

You can spend hours and hours trying to rationalize and figure out another person. There is sometimes going to be people that are irrational or whom may just not prioritize or value a relationship (with you or relationships in general). We can ask questions like: why do they act the way they do?  Are they acting this way because they were hurt? Is there a way I can be of service to this person to restore relationship? And while with the right people, this is a beautiful trait and has the ability to invite in deeper connection… If these questions aren’t reciprocated, it simply leads one to devalue their own perspectives. If you find yourself in a relationship continually asking questions, or being the one primarily listening to the other talk this may be a sign of a one sided relationship. 

Listening and allowing another human to just be themselves is so valuable. At the same time, it’s important to remember that each human longs to feel seen and heard. I have grown to know that listening and seeing others is valuable in and of itself. At the same time, if a person is continually making room to understand others and that understanding is not in reciprocation it creates a very disproportional relationship.

Of course, there are going to be circumstances in life, where a friend requires more support. Or perhaps, there are some people that you care for that you know incapable of reciprocal relationship (not because they don’t want to but because of a lack of internal resources, capacity, or just simply don’t know how). You get to discern what is acceptable to you in the agreements you have in your relationships. This is simply a reminder that your actions can impact others AND simultaneously you too deserve to feel seen and heard. 

I’m curious, when you reflect on your relationships. Do you have some that stand out as feeling balanced? Or perhaps others that feel disproportionally one sided? Perhaps you could list them.

There are so many ways to be in this world and what a beautiful thing! Relationship, is complex and dynamic. Healthy relationship is something I’ve been trying to learn and search for— what is it? Can it be universally defined? What are the rules? What are the agreements? Are there any? What are the parameters and how does one BE someone who is in a healthy relationship with joy, sorrow, laughter and conflict?

One thing, I have found immensely helpful is deciding for myself some clear indications of what it is that I value that puts relationships into:

1. Top priority

2. Middle category 

3. Immensely loved but can’t share limited time with

4. Blazing flashing red traffic lights

After doing this practise of naming what values and traits constitute each “level” of friendship, I was so amazed at how it gave me a deeper appreciation for the specific gifts of each relationship. I realized no person is perfect but there are people I was undervaluing because I held onto a misconception that one of their “unfavourable traits” were hurtful when in reality in a lot of cases when I took time to reflect, their “unfavourable traits” in a larger context wasn’t one of my top values. It put into perspective those that required most of my appreciation and allowed me the awareness to act accordingly.

I’m curious, can you name what are your top values for relationship? And if not, how about putting on a cup of tea and naming three things you search for and three things that indicate misaligned values.

Which relationships have you chosen to prioritize? Perhaps even tiering some of your relationships and constituting what that means in regards to time commitments, activities, vulnerability, trust, and shared values. Making these decisions conscious and giving them genuine time to be considered so that you can have an added perspective of who you choose to prioritize and why.

Unraveling on the Mat

When practising yoga we have a choice to move our bodies in loving considerate ways and unravel what it is we have come with TODAY. Some days we will be carrying more than others but if we consistently unravel our knots we become more aware of what it is to be untangled. We eventually build up the capacity to give ourself this kindness of untangling more regularly and with consistency we build capacity. Perhaps with consistency we gain a new normal and learn to move towards untangling the next step of our process. Perhaps consistency means we show up more fully to the woes of our own hearts and become more capable to show up to the problems and hardships of others.

Think of your yoga practise like unravelling a tangled necklace. Each breathe and moment of awareness unravels a knot. These moments you give yourself on the mat unravel stagnant or blocked energy and maintain the vitality of your body. It’s like doing daily dishes. Each day, we know we must eat and part of that process is the care we put into tidying up and preparing our home for the next meal. We can resent the process or we can learn to be mindful and compassionate towards the whole journey. We can appreciate the warm water on our skin and the people present in our lives that we get to share and prepare food for. These are choices. Choices of perspective.

Maybe yoga isn’t your way of “untangling”— and that’s totally okay! I do know it’s been a beautiful strategy for me but you’re unique and the beauty of this life if that you get to decide for yourself what feels good and what feels constrictive. Yoga is a practise —like an art class that teaches techniques, it’s important to keep your own sense of agency, authority and creative expression.

Practising yoga doesn’t mean the body won’t accumulate tension but it means you get better at showing up to what’s present — better at “unknotting” & better at being compassionate to the process. It’s not a war where the tangled need to be eradicated and kept at bay. No. It’s a way of accepting the journey and starting where we are. No one way being better than the other — there are days that we are going to show up a tangled mess but we gain the capacity to accept ourselves as tangled and free — a bit of both. 

Before knowing differently, I would think it best to eradicate knots all together and perhaps my perspective will continue to change— but right now I sometimes like to think that being “tangled and free”  is a more balanced and realistic perspective. When I accept myself as tangled and lovable I can also give others the freedom and  compassion to be “tangled and lovable” in their own ways too.

Reminds me of something my mom likes to say,  “Everything in balance. Even balance”.

How to Start: My 3 Favourite Practises to Help Start Something

The words I wish someone would have told me earlier to help support knowing what it is I wanted and discovering how to get there.

Are you utterly lost in the confusion and overwhelm of indecision and inaction? Do you have an idea but are you lost on where to take it? Or what to do first? Are you tied up in the emotions of overwhelm, sadness, or anger at not being able to do the things you know you are meant to? I’ve been there and what follows is my offering of supports: The words I wish someone would have told me earlier to help support knowing what it is I wanted and discovering how to get there.

First off — I’m an Aries, the first sign of the zodiac. Aries is the sign that charges forward. They are known to be confident, head strong, and energetic while also sometimes naive and not always prone to finishing what it is they start BUT want I want to reiterate is the importance: THEY START.

I’m articulating their faults of naivety and lack of follow through because like everything in life, there is the balance of positive and negative, of light and shadow. An Aries may start but they also need to rely on other skillsets and attributed of their character and the other signs in their chart to see tasks through to completion. Both positive and negative qualities are important so that we can understand ourselves in an integrated and wise way. To become wise, we must fail and we must learn from experience. Sometimes like the naive youth we will make mistakes but the important thing is; is that we CONTINUE, and to do that we must start and often start anew.

Here I will share with you three practises that will help to create your own sense of self. From my experience one of the main blockages that kept me from making any decisions or moving towards starting any actions was fear. The fear that I didn’t actually know what I wanted, confusion over whose voice was my own, and doubt that I had the capacity to achieve any of what I would like for myself. Thankfully, there are tools to learn about how to MOVE THROUGH the fear.

THREE TOOLS I WISH I HAD KNOWN AND USED SOONER & THAT YOU CAN USE TOO:

1. Consistently Journaling:

This is actually a HUGE step. The practise of making time for your voice and to put it on paper is HUGE. It brings the thoughts and ideas you have and makes space for them physically on the paper. To write down your ideas visually reiterated to yourself that you have given your ideas a place in this world. This act represents you  being allowed to take up space and clears out any of the confusion and untruth you may be holding within you. As the words make their way onto the page you have the opportunity to sift through and see for yourself all the muddled ideas or the gems in the rough. The key to all of this though is consistency and one of the most important things is that you treat this time of journalling for yourself as sacred. Like any new skill there will be failure and a day or two that you don’t make time to write down your own words but with time and practise you will get there. Here I recommend being super truthful. Say the things you want to say but that you can’t out-loud. Call out the injustices you witness and see how as you write you come to clearer understanding. Say the outrageous dreams and aspirations no one else will believe. With consistency what may initially be harsh words or unrealistic aspirations will eventually blend into deeper understanding of yourself AND also other people. Let it out genuinely because the beautiful thing about a journal is that you can finally see the things you may have been denying yourself and then you can act from a deeper place of clarity and truth. Often as we get clearer we also invite in a bigger perspective.

2. A Boundary Exercise:

A boundary exercise can look many ways and if you have one you like or already know you can use that one. If you have no idea what a boundary exercise is, I like to think of them as a practise to help discern where you begin and where you end.  Some people find boundary exercises difficult because they are stuck in the one-sided perspective that we are all one. While yes, of course there is truth in this universal concept of us all being connected to actually know this— you also need to define yourself. To define yourself is to know from what place or “who it is” that you are relating to “oneness”. So many people look to relate to the idea of oneness without taking the time to define themselves. It’s like the idea of the positive and negative and how in reality we can’t have one without the other. To have darkness then allows an opposite for the light to exist. If we didn’t have the night how would we know or define what daylight was? We would only know the night and we would not be able to have a term for darkness because there wouldn’t be anything else to help define it. See here how important is is to experience BOTH. To experience your own sense of self so that you can experience wholeness or oneness as something bigger than yourself.

A simple boundary visualization:

1. Sit and close your eyes

2. Take three full breaths

3. Take your awareness above your head and take three full breaths here sensing into the space above your head

4. Take your awareness below you and take three full breaths sensing into the space below you

5. Do the same as above but for infront of you

6. Do the same for behind

7. To your left and then your right (or right and then your left)

8. Take your awareness to your centre and towards your heart and breathe here.

There are many ways you can imagine your boundary and I would recommend connecting to this more fully. The one described about is a tool of orientating yourself in the world. There is deep wisdom in doing this and if this is something you are interested in taking further I would recommend seeking an Elder or meditation coach to help guide you and connect you with the long history and traditions that this practise holds. I am not qualified to share this wisdom and recognize my own limitations in sharing the full extent of this knowledge. The practise I have described above  is profound and yet a simpler version to respect the different traditions and cultural knowledge that must be shared in a very specific, integrated, and holistic ways from someone who holds that knowledge and relationship to those practises.

A boundary exercise has the capacity to create meaningful and impactful change in your life. Like any exercise as you practise and strengthen this “boundary muscle” it will grow and this will start to allow you to set clearer and clearer boundaries on your time and allow you to create genuine time for yourself and for your own self exploration. This means setting aside time for your journaling and self care. This means time for you so that you can become clear on who you are and relate more clearly to the world around you.

3. Connecting with Something Bigger than Yourself

Maybe you belief in God, or maybe you find love and support in Nature. What matters is that you create time and foster relationship with something that is bigger than yourself.  The act of prayer, meditation, or conversation with the divine can look many different ways.  If you don’t know where to start I’d suggest a gratitude practise and thanking your version of Creator each and every day. Name at least three things you are grateful for  and see how as you share your gratitude with something bigger than yourself  it will transform the the relationship you hold with the world!

I honestly know from experience that each of these practises will connect you more fully to your authenticity and therefore expand your capacity to relate to the world in a more genuine and fulfilling way. These practises will move you into a more balanced perspective to make decisions from and will make space for you to move you ideas into action! These practises will act like a bridging force to create relationship to the space that holds duality so that you too can feel balanced and make decisions from a place that is integrated and whole!

Again, like any journey there is the place in which you start out. Like the heroes journey… the important thing is that the hero starts.  So often it is the first step that are the hardest because we have no idea of where it is we are going, what it is we will do, or how we will go about doing it. The first steps are the ones filled with ample falls. Like a child learning to walk and yet we each have the things that call to us and that we are destined to do. I hope this is helps you along your journey. Know that even if you fall— the important thing is that you try, and try again. You too my friend can start.